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How to cope with constant purging

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1 How to cope with constant purging on Tue Dec 02, 2014 11:04 am

Hello,

It has been a few month that I have been struggling with purging and can't cope with it.

Breakfast, lunch is ok as I have to go to the office afterwards and no way I will allow myself to (binge) purge at the office. I made it a point.

But at night at home it is completely different.
I am not alone for the moment (my father will be living with me for a month for travel purposes) so I can't purge in the toilets as I would usually do when I am alone (not to mention that I also sometimes binge)...I just purge in the shower.....so that he doesn't not hear anything. (I can not talk to him about my ED .... he does not want to hear about it, any one in my family)

after diner we watch TV....then when I go take my shower I sometimes sneak in the kitchen and eat a sort of additional snack then head for my shower....and here is the issue...sometimes I purge sometimes I don't...it does not depend on what I have eaten or how much or because I had a snack...it is just that it come out alone...I just think about it and it comes up alone without any efforts.

Consequences: I have lost 2 additional pounds and now look like a skinny cat.

meals are tiny tiny tiny cos I just can not handle so much food....stomach or head saying no? Both of them.

Fast Friday I when to the restaurant with my family...I shut up...full course menu...no comment from anyone...but as soon as I arrived at home I just vomited as I ate way too much ...It was physically impossible to keep all that food.

Each day is harder and harder, the more weight I loose the more it becomes to eat and handle food...I have tried liquid calories but it is worse ( liquids do not stay in the stomach)

Sort of desperate especially as I have decided to do Minnie maud....and stop definitely with my ED
(psychological support is not affordable even if it is a health question nor inpatient...I do not have financial support) I have to get out of this by myself.

It is just that I have no clue how to start without making me sick and how much to eat to really start.
20 years fighting with up and down (more downs than ups...)



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2 Re: How to cope with constant purging on Mon Jan 12, 2015 3:54 pm

You seem to be sure that this is a binge-restrict-CYCLE, and that's good because in that fact lies the solution: you need to stop the cycle at one point. The reason you get urges to binge is because you don't eat enough. Make yourself a meal plan with at least the amount of calories as the MM guidelines says and stick to it! If your body is satisfied, you won't get the urge to binge, and therefore no urge to purge Smile

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