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Do I even have an ED???

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1 Do I even have an ED??? on Thu Dec 25, 2014 8:00 pm

Ok so this is gonna be a bit long but please bear with me....
I have some troubles with food but I have never been diagnosed with an ED and I am not sure I even have one I just feel like I am "faking" or "forcing this disorder on me"
I have always been overweight through out my childhood but i became aware of my body at the age of 11-12 at this time I would stare at myself in the mirror and cry because I really hated what I saw so I started PTW restricting really badly and I would exercise every time I ate something END OF TW
I lost alot of weight but I became more confident in myself at this point I reached a BMI of X but was still in the healthy range. I still looked thin but I didn't see it I still thought I was overweight my mom got worried and took me to a dietician and they gave me a meal plan to maintain....
I was fine for sometime but then we moved to the UK and I would eat a lot then because I was always extremely hungry...I continued for sometime but then noticed i had gained a lot of weight
I began restricting and then we moved back home i would exercise after every meal and here i became slightly underweight TW I WILL MENTION NUMBERS PLEASE DONT READ IF EASILY TRRIGERED my BMI by that point was 17 END OF TW..
my mom became more strict and I do remember times where I would cry over eating some rice but anyway now I have been attempting to restore my weight I am now TW at a BMI of 18 END OF TW I am eating around 2200 cals a day and i still exercise ( I can't break the habbit and i become really anxious if I don't but don't exercise as much as before) but I am really mentally struggling as I have really bad bloating like really bad and I am scared I will look like this forever I don't eat 3000 cals I eat around 2200 and I am scared how long it will take for my weight to redistribute and if it will take longer because I eat less calories than the guideline and exercise.
Please please help me I am desperate and no one understands me No Sad

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2 Re: Do I even have an ED??? on Fri Dec 26, 2014 2:24 pm

Your behavior and thinking is very disordered and you need to do something about it. Start by increasing to 3000 kcal and stop exercising as this will not make you become bigger than you should. It will give your body a chance to heal. A BMI of 18 is too low and will cause problems for you if you try to maintain there.
I know this is really scary, but taking the decision to become healthy is the hardest part. I can relate to exercising being a way of reducing anxiety, but you will experience that it will soon become easier to live without just after a few days of not doing it.
You have to believe that you can be so much happier and healthier than this, anf ypi really deserve it Smile

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3 Re: Do I even have an ED??? on Sun Jan 04, 2015 11:52 pm

Hey lovely people,
I am not sure either whether I really have an ED or not..I've never been really underweight ..my lowest BMI was 20..but I always restricted soooo much..I lost a lot of weight by restricting and exercising last year and all I could think about was my weight and how ugly I am and so on.. I think all of you can identify with this.. Then I met a wonderful girl that got diagnosed with anorexia, she was severly underweight and had to recover..As I spent more time with her I realized that my behaviour and my attitude towards eating was not normal anymore..
So I did everything just to help her to get better and to live more freely, which helped me a lot as well!
However, I gained a few kilos and am at a BMI of 21-22 (it changes all the time). My friend and I are always talking about our struggles with our bodies..do you think this is my set point? I've been overweight before I started dieting..but to that time I've been overeating a lot due to emotional reasons and a less active life..
My friend showed me how to eat normally again, to allow me candy and junk food ..
AMALIE, if you read this I also want to thank you for just being yourself and sharing your story ! You are so beautiful and such a role model ! I admire you so much for what you've accomplished in your life !

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4 Re: Do I even have an ED??? on Mon Jan 05, 2015 8:06 am

Our EDs will always tell us that we are not sick enough, but it is a lie. If you feel that food, exercise or purging is controlling you, then you are not healthy. BMI is not a good measure to determine how sick someone are because our set points are so different. It is completely possible for an "overweight" person (according to BMI, which is a bad tool) to be in starvation mode, causing a lot of long term damage to the body and mind.

If you are eating according to your REAL hunger cues (not affected by restriction, depression, medicines etc.) this may possibly be your set point. Your hunger cues should then lead you to about the MinnieMaud guidelines (sometimes a BIT lower, but not much) if you stay sedentary.

I wish you all the best Smile

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5 Re: Do I even have an ED??? on Mon Jan 05, 2015 11:17 am

Thank you so much for your answer! I feel very understood and helped by you:)!! So i will try to avoid focussing on my bmi.. Smile

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6 Re: Do I even have an ED??? on Mon Jan 05, 2015 12:03 pm

Good luck and stay strong Smile

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