I have some troubles with food but I have never been diagnosed with an ED and I am not sure I even have one I just feel like I am "faking" or "forcing this disorder on me"
I have always been overweight through out my childhood but i became aware of my body at the age of 11-12 at this time I would stare at myself in the mirror and cry because I really hated what I saw so I started PTW restricting really badly and I would exercise every time I ate something END OF TW
I lost alot of weight but I became more confident in myself at this point I reached a BMI of X but was still in the healthy range. I still looked thin but I didn't see it I still thought I was overweight my mom got worried and took me to a dietician and they gave me a meal plan to maintain....
I was fine for sometime but then we moved to the UK and I would eat a lot then because I was always extremely hungry...I continued for sometime but then noticed i had gained a lot of weight
I began restricting and then we moved back home i would exercise after every meal and here i became slightly underweight TW I WILL MENTION NUMBERS PLEASE DONT READ IF EASILY TRRIGERED my BMI by that point was 17 END OF TW..
my mom became more strict and I do remember times where I would cry over eating some rice but anyway now I have been attempting to restore my weight I am now TW at a BMI of 18 END OF TW I am eating around 2200 cals a day and i still exercise ( I can't break the habbit and i become really anxious if I don't but don't exercise as much as before) but I am really mentally struggling as I have really bad bloating like really bad and I am scared I will look like this forever I don't eat 3000 cals I eat around 2200 and I am scared how long it will take for my weight to redistribute and if it will take longer because I eat less calories than the guideline and exercise.
Please please help me I am desperate and no one understands me