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Scared to step on the scale? & Want to know how to deal with crying so much?

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This is the end of my first week in recovery from two and a half years in an eating disorder, I've been trying MinnieMaud but it seems so hard to get to 2,500+ calories (I've been going to at most 1,600) but I REALLY want to try harder and get to more calories in order to recover. I've had mental breakdowns with my mom hugging me by my side every night before I go to bed because of thinking about my belly bloat. Will this ever go away? Also, I'm scared to step on the scale because I'm afraid I'll go into relapse or have a huge mental breakdown, but I feel like it is required in recovery to know how much I weigh? Is this true? What should I do? pale

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Hello Smile

First of all, i just wanted to say that you are brave, strong and amazing for starting your recovery, and that you are doing are great job so far and i have faith in you that you can do this and get through it!!

This week, i too have started to up my calories to try and get better, and yes - it 100% is normal, extremely common ( just about everybody in recovery gets it)... the bloated belly. It is so normal to have this when you start eating more (I've been bloated all week so you are not alone!!) It does go away, once your body gets used to your intake and establishes itself physically, but the body can't do this until it has regular and proper nutrition so that it has the energy and nutrients to heal itself... so it is absolutely key that you stick with eating more calories and gradually building up your intake!!

Remember that once you start eating more, your metabolism will speed up meaning the body will quickly get used to the amounts of food/energy and so it very quickly stops healing on a small amount because it uses all the energy up, and then needs more energy to continue healing!! So although you feel bloated (just like me Smile ) it is vital that you stick with gradually upping your calories, otherwise the body will not heal properly!

It is important in recovery to track and monitor weight. This is because you need to know that if you are loosing weight, or no longer gaining - you need to know what is happening to your weight to be able to adjust your intake accordingly. It is recommended that people in recovery get weighed once a week (at least... that's what happens at my treatment center!!) But i seriously recommend that you get weighed at an ED clinic, by a Doctor, or in a medical environment so that a health care professional can safely monitor it.
If you don't see a doctor or go to a treatment center, i recommend you choose one day a week where you get weighed by an adult (maybe your mum??)

if you feel like you can't see the scale number (i also used to struggle with this, and this is what the nurses at my treatment center advised me to do) i used to shut my eyes and listen to my ipod whilst stepping on the scale, so i couldn't see the number and i had a distraction. Other alternatives include looking away from the scale number whilst being weighed, or wearing a blind fold to cover your eyes so you cant see. I always find that a good distraction makes a world of difference when dealing with negative thoughts around weight!

Haha, again this is a way too long reply - but i wanted to give you as much advice as possible!!
Keep strong and keep fighting... you're going to be ok!!!!

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thank you so much your advice really helped!! Very Happy

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Your so welcome!! Very Happy Really glad that my advice was helpful to you flower

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It's not necessary for YOU to know your weight during recovery. Get some you trust (doctor or family member) to weigh you once a week (or more). Go onto the scale backwards so only the other person can see the number. I'm currently doing this as I know the number would trigger me too much. My doctor tells me to eat more if I haven't gained enough (less that 0.5 kg) and just "OK" if I have gained enough. This works for me, so you could give it a try Smile

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thanks so much thats a good idea going on backwards Razz

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