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Bingeing when i dont eat a certain food

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1 Bingeing when i dont eat a certain food on Tue Jan 13, 2015 12:53 pm

I have been weight restored for at least 4-6 months now and i keep having occasional binges. i do not have any starvation symptoms apart from having no period.
But i find if i do not eat a certain food everyday e.g. bread i have a massive binge at night. It upsets me and i end up having anxiety attacks because i feel as though there is no way i can get rid of it. I do not understand why i keep bingeing when i am maintaining my weight by eating after hunger cues. I do exercise, but i tend to eat more on days i do.
I also have no fullness cues, i eat after my hunger and sometimes i eat just because. But i, for some reason, can not acknowledge and respect when i am full. I can only stop when i am in pain because i've eaten so much and there is always room for more.
I am only 4 ft 11 (151cm) and 16 years old, i eat as much (if not more) as my 17 year old friend who is a male and at least 6ft (182cm).  I do not understand why my body will not regulate itself and i'm sick of feeling like this.
If it keep happening, i feel as though i will be close to relapsing Crying or Very sad
Please help me, i have been doing so well i thought i was almost 100% recovered.

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2 Re: Bingeing when i dont eat a certain food on Wed Jan 14, 2015 7:52 am

Why do you not have certain foods every day? It seems to me that those foods are exactly what your body need and will start screaming for it if you don't eat it. If your not sure about whether you should stop eating (not sensing if you're full) then maybe you are not ready to eat by hunger cues yet? It's hard for me to tell. Still, you say you are weight restored and maintaining so you cannot be eating more than your body needs. Your hunger and fullness cues can therefore not be THAT off.

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3 Re: Bingeing when i dont eat a certain food on Thu Jan 15, 2015 1:34 pm

susannsk89 wrote:Why do you not have certain foods every day? It seems to me that those foods are exactly what your body need and will start screaming for it if you don't eat it. If your not sure about whether you should stop eating (not sensing if you're full) then maybe you are not ready to eat by hunger cues yet? It's hard for me to tell. Still,  you say you are weight restored and maintaining so you cannot be eating more than your body needs. Your hunger and fullness cues can therefore not be THAT off.
i shamefully admit i do believe i control my maintenance weight with exercise and or restriction (more like allocating calories) Mad but i feel i would not have to do this if i could get my hunger/fullness cues underway but it seems i am not making any progress Sad

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4 Re: Bingeing when i dont eat a certain food on Thu Jan 15, 2015 1:57 pm

Don't be ashamed Smile Even though doing what you do is not good for you, feeling ashamed is not helping. Guilt and shame only makes it worse, right? That being said, I think you're doing the whole thing the wrong way. You can't expect your hunger cues to be fixed BEFORE your weight has stabilized by eating by MM guidelines and no purging. You will be able to feel full again when your body trusts you to give it what it needs in the future. Think of it as a child that don't get enough attention. Such a child will have tantrums every day, but when you give it the attention it needs day after day, then it will start to trust that there is no need to do bad stuff to get your attention. 

What you experience is extreme hunger, and this will never go away as long as you keep purging and exercising. I know you're afraid of letting go of the control, that was the hardest part for me too, but I promise you that the extreme hunger will go away if you just let your body have what it wants. And your weight might not even increase that much either because your metabolism will speed up as a result of you not purging and the body will also use more energy when you get back your period. Also, exercising and purging will make you retain more water, so by not doing these things you may even look bigger than you need to. So you may not be far off your set point, but the body is not satisfied before you're where you should be. Right now, you are not giving your body any reasons to trust you.

You deserve so much more than this! And I know you can do it. But you have to try <3

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5 Re: Bingeing when i dont eat a certain food on Fri Jan 16, 2015 4:37 am

susannsk89 wrote:Don't be ashamed Smile Even though doing what you do is not good for you, feeling ashamed is not helping. Guilt and shame only makes it worse, right? That being said, I think you're doing the whole thing the wrong way. You can't expect your hunger cues to be fixed BEFORE your weight has stabilized by eating by MM guidelines and no purging. You will be able to feel full again when your body trusts you to give it what it needs in the future. Think of it as a child that don't get enough attention. Such a child will have tantrums every day, but when you give it the attention it needs day after day, then it will start to trust that there is no need to do bad stuff to get your attention. 

What you experience is extreme hunger, and this will never go away as long as you keep purging and exercising. I know you're afraid of letting go of the control, that was the hardest part for me too, but I promise you that the extreme hunger will go away if you just let your body have what it wants. And your weight might not even increase that much either because your metabolism will speed up as a result of you not purging and the body will also use more energy when you get back your period. Also, exercising and purging will make you retain more water, so by not doing these things you may even look bigger than you need to. So you may not be far off your set point, but the body is not satisfied before you're where you should be. Right now, you are not giving your body any reasons to trust you.

You deserve so much more than this! And I know you can do it. But you have to try <3

thank you so much beautiful, i am trying so hard not to exercise, it gives me great anxiety not to, so i've cut it down on the amount i do. It's just so hard to fight the guilt when i have to eat and not exercise xxx

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6 Re: Bingeing when i dont eat a certain food on Fri Jan 16, 2015 7:17 am

Give yourself some credit for trying Smile I promise that the guilt will go away in a much shorter time than you think if you just stop exercising completely. You want exercise to be something to enjoy in the future, right? That will never happen as long as you use it as a coping mechanism. Exercise should not be about coping, but about fun, relaxation and a well functioning body. I also thought it was super hard to quit it completely, but niw I'm so happy that I did as I truly believe that I can get back the positive feelings related to it. Also, if your brain is ever going to learn other healthy coping mechanisms, you need to stop doing the unhealthy ones. I promise you that you will learn to cope with the anxiety in better ways as long as you try. The weekend is coming up, why not invite a friend over to watch movies etc to keep you from thinking about exercising? Smile

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