I've been in relapse in anorexia and I really want to get better but...
1. I feel that I'm 'not sick enough' as my BMI is only just below xx. I know this sounds ridiculous but I want to recover for good this time, so if I succeed this is like my 'last chance' to get to a really low weight. It's like I want to be a 'better' anorexic before letting go and fully committing to recovery. Also it's like I want to have to gain more weight in recovery so that it will take longer and I can lavish more care on myself as well as postpone the weight-restored/maintenance phase (because I'm not so sure how to do that yet).
2. I'm afraid to gain weight because I'm afraid my metabolism is damaged beyond 100% repair as I've had anorexia for 7-8 years with 4 relapses (with some episodes of extremely severe restriction). I'm afraid I'll gain too fast, overshoot, and/or not be able to maintain on decent amount of calories post weight-restoration.
I guess I just really need some encouragement and reassurance. Personal experiences would also be helpful. Thanks a lot. xx
1. I feel that I'm 'not sick enough' as my BMI is only just below xx. I know this sounds ridiculous but I want to recover for good this time, so if I succeed this is like my 'last chance' to get to a really low weight. It's like I want to be a 'better' anorexic before letting go and fully committing to recovery. Also it's like I want to have to gain more weight in recovery so that it will take longer and I can lavish more care on myself as well as postpone the weight-restored/maintenance phase (because I'm not so sure how to do that yet).
2. I'm afraid to gain weight because I'm afraid my metabolism is damaged beyond 100% repair as I've had anorexia for 7-8 years with 4 relapses (with some episodes of extremely severe restriction). I'm afraid I'll gain too fast, overshoot, and/or not be able to maintain on decent amount of calories post weight-restoration.
I guess I just really need some encouragement and reassurance. Personal experiences would also be helpful. Thanks a lot. xx
Last edited by Amalie on Tue Nov 11, 2014 11:04 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Bmi mentioned, which is against the rules in this forum.)